So I have broken them into categories of how strongly I do or do not feel about them. After months of deep soul searching, weeks of research and film watching, I have come with a list of people (and teams) who will never take the time to come and find me.
They are too busy.
I watch because even though I hate them, they are so damn good.
Christian Rolando, Manchester United – Everything about Rolando is pretty. From his incredible foot-work, to his well tanned skin and nicely groomed eye brows and hair, the man is too good. But what drives your average soccer fan nuts his is selfish attitude and his constant diving – dive against Chelsea (30 seconds in). His diving ability could give him a chance at a gold in the 2012 Summer Olympics in London. Which is convenient since he plays in Manchester. He does however receive some of the hardest tackles I have seen, almost a pay-back sense. But he is so good. Last season was incredible. When he is “on”, there is no one like him – just watch. He scored 42 goals in all competitions last season and many were jaw-droppers.
Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers – I love Kobe’s game, but I am just not a fan. Have you ever seen a man lick his lips more when they talk than Kobe? In this interview, the clip is 3:06, the actual interview is much less, Kobe licks his lips at least 10 times! Someone has an issue!! Get a hanky – yes I said hanky – or a box of Kleenex. Like Rolando, when Kobe is in the zone, and he wants to take a game over, there is very little you can do to stop him. But he came to the league with a huge chip on the shoulder and get not get it knock off until; he sent Shaq to Miami, Phil quit, and then the rape charge (which was dropped). The arrogance that he once hid behind has almost left, but on the court the self promoting is ridiculous and needs to stop. There is no questioning the talent and skill, and that is why I watch.
Tom Brady, New England Patriots – This 6th round gem found by the Patriots, has lead his team to the title of “Dynasty”. At every chance, the NFL has made the face of the league. He dates models and his recent injury had more media coverage than a REAL natural disaster. He can be very arrogant in interviews and his hair gets way too much press. Yet, he is so damn good. While not possessing the athletic skills of many QB’s that have gone before him, he has been the cornerstone for New England and has truly succeeded in their system. Now with an abundance of talent around him, it is even a better watch (when he is healthy). I think I hate him, because I would like to be him – don’t tell my wife – even if he is injured (he gets pampered by her – rough).
University of North Carolina Men’s Basketball Team – as a fan of the Duke Blue Devils, it is a obligation that you dislike UNC. But they are too damn good. They have as many National Championships as Duke, three, and their players typically become better NBA players. That said, Tyler Hansbrough will only be a better version of Mark Madsen in the league – Madsen is more famous for his dancing than anything he has done on the court. Your school colors are baby blue and white and WHAT THE HELL IS A TAR HEEL! I have a lot of respect for Roy Williams, he is a classy guy, even if he said s**t on live TV when asked about moving to UNC right after Kansas lost in the championship game (I am glad he said it).
I watch to see how well they play and then the crazy that follows.
Terrell Owen, Dallas Cowboys – Where to start? He will end his career with numbers that put in him an elite group of receivers and probably in the NFL Hall of Fame. But his outbursts could land him in group therapy. Owens is breathe taking and consistent on the field as he is inconsistent off the field. His out bursts range from an over-emotional, tear-filled rants in defense of his QB, to holding a work-out in his drive way for the media. He has also accused former teammates of being gay and quitters.
Randy Moss, New England Patriots – Having lived in Minnesota and North Dakota my whole life, I have been very close to the career of Moss. There has never been a receiver in the NFL like Moss. With his combination of size, speed and jumping ability he sets himself apart from the rest of the pack. And with that, early on in his stint with the Vikings he made most of his noise on the field. He was a great interview; honest, with a comforting southern accent, and a willingness to put himself out there. Then in 1996 he tested positive for marijuana and in 2002 came a certain incident with a traffic cop. There have also been on the fields issues; TD celebration in Green Bay and making contact with an official back 2000. Plus the obvious displays of taking snaps off and complaining of not get enough touches. His antics have declined in recent years, like TO, it seems that “winning” is the best medicine. Moss’ greatest feat as a football player – get his enormous afro in his helmet week after week. Do you think the Vikings had to get a bigger helmet?
Manny Ramirez, Los Angeles Dodgers – No player in sports has a phrase that describes his antics, except Ramirez; it’s just “Manny being Manny”. While he is a Hall of Fame hitter, he is a hall of fame defensive disaster. I cannot remember a player in recent history that was such a “double-edged sword” as Ramirez. His focus and dedication had been a big issue in his last months with Boston. Yet, he is one of only 24 players to hit 500 homeruns and the Red Soxs could not have won either of their Championships without him. But apparently the Manny “excuse” was wearing thin and was just a little too cliché’.
John Madden – John Madden has been a house-hold name for years. Lately, it has been for the massive success of the EA Sports Madden Football video game. He won a Championship as an NFL coach with Raiders in 1976 and has been in the broadcaster booth every since 1979. His commentary in the booth at times is ridicules and irrelevant, and his infatuations with Brett Favre and the “tele- strator” are infamous and creepy. But he is extremely popular. Recently, Frank Caliendo has made a living with his impression of Madden (and many others) on Fox and Direct TV. Does Madden get commission on that?
I watch to see the bad, not the good.
Alex Rodriguez, New York Yankees – The most expensive player in MLB history has not won a World Series. He has the talent and time to break Barry Bonds homerun record and he is a solid defensive player (and a better shortstop than Jeter). But in New York he has become something of a scape goat. A-Rod, at times, IS the best player in the game, worthy of his lofty salary. Lately, when the club has needed him in the playoffs, he is unable to get clutch hit. This season he was on Sportscenter more for his alleged relationship with Madonna then anything baseball related. Madonna – really?
The Raiders – There are really no words. It is a horrible organization. Their fans are way more interesting and entertaining than the team and they know more about football than anyone in the front office!
Anna Kournikova, Professional Tennis – the bad for her is that she has not won a single tournament. Another bad for her, any kind of relationship with Enrique Iglesias – he is horrible. But again, I don’t watch to see her win. I just watch – for this.
I just don’t like them, so I don’t watch them.
Carmelo Anthony, Denver Nuggets – He thanked himself in his 2003 ESPY acceptance speech. REALLY! Can’t make that up.
The other Yankees and anyone with the last name Steinbrenner.
Tim Duncan and Bruce Bowen, San Antonio Spurs – the whiner and the mugger.
Serena Williams, Professional Tennis – I have no reason, she just annoys me.
John Terry and Joe Cole, Chelsea and English National Team – For some unknown reason, I want to punch them in the face – and then run away very quickly – Terry scares me.
Curt Schilling, Boston Red Soxs – SHHHHH – sometimes it’s OK not to talk.
Bill Belichick, New England Patriots – Wear something other than a firggin sweatshirt! YOU MAKE ENOUGH MONEY!